I missed London’s 10 month photos (I was sick, she was sick, Buck was traveling, it just didn’t happen), but there’s grace for that. Oooooohhhhhh, this child is such a joy! In two months, baby girl has gone from “Baby” to “Toddler,” and although I’m sad to say goodbye to the sweet, quiet moments of young childhood, I’m absolutely loving this new season.WARNING: long post. I have a lot to catch up on. 🙂

London update:

• She talks! She babbles all day, every day, walking around the house quietly whispering to herself. SO SO CUTE. She says actual words, too— mama, dada, hi (aaalllll the time), Gus, and “gentle” whenever she touches my face, glasses, or jewelry. She says other things on occasion (like thank you, bye bye, etc), and signs “more” and “all done.”
• She started walking just after Christmas, and she’s always on the move. She was super active inside me before she was born (so much so that I would get nauseous/motion sick from her movement!!), so I knew she would be an active child, but goodness. She never sits still!!
• She LOVES reading. We read Pat the Bunny at least five times a day, and she regularly toddles up to me with other favorite books in hand, asking me to read them. And if I’m not reading to her, she’s reading on her own— turning pages and speaking babbling whispers to herself. I just pray that she always loves books as much as she does now! Other favorite books: Brown Bear, Moo Baa La La La, and Ten Little Fingers (my personal favorite).
• She is incredibly attentive. She notices the smallest things, points out when anything in the house change, notices every new pair of earrings I wear, asks questions about things she doesn’t understand, wants to figure out how everything works. I LOVE her curiosity!!
• She is generally quiet. For being such an incredibly busy and inquisitive child, she isn’t destructive. She’s into everything, trying to figure out how things work, and of course she leaves a mess behind her, but she doesn’t tear things apart, and I’m thankful for that!
• She loves to be outside, and she love a cold breeze in her face. We’re outside almost every day, going on walks, going to the park, playing fetch with Gus, and walking up and down the sidewalk in front of our house. I’m hoping this means I’ll get a good tan this summer chasing after her… 🙂
• She is soooooo sweet. I don’t know how else to describe it— she has a happy demeanor, a quiet, gentle personality, and is as tender and affectionate as she is independent and determined. She loves to give us kisses!! She so active and so smart that sometimes it’s hard to remember that she’s still just a little baby who needs to be held sometimes. She likes to observe a new situation before she tries to engage with it, so often prefers to sit still and watch from my arms before she explores something new.

Working on blowing kisses!!

Motherhood update:

January and February were wonderful. Certainly not without their challenges (I was out of town for two weekends in January, then sick for two and a half weeks after that, then Buck had a two week trip during which London caught a stomach bug), but in terms of my heart in relation to both work and my role as wife & mother, I can joyfully say that I am in a very, very good place.

I can trace this back almost entirely to the day that Buck and I left London with the grandparents and snuck away to a coffee shop to do our yearly planning. Taking time away from our normal, and giving a solid, uninterrupted chunk of it to figuring out where we are and where we need to be, to look back at the previous year and decide what needs to change for the upcoming year, it had a profound impact on my personal outlook.

I gave a detailed rundown in my 2017 Goals & Plans post, but a quick summary, 2016 did a number on our marriage and family life. Any major change can have that affect (and having a baby is certainly a major change!!), so it’s not really a surprise that we struggled. My work didn’t slow down at all after London’s birth, and Buck’s work travel got more intense, and we were so tired and stressed and overbooked and just trying to survive that we fell into some bad habits, and before we knew it we were drifting into not-so-good territory in our marriage, our parenting, and my work. We realized what was happening around Christmas and made some significant course-corrections, and we are in such a good place right now, and all I can do is say “thank you” to God for giving us grace, and to Buck for being as committed to our marriage as I am.

Talking through things (goals, dreams, plans, finances, hopes, aspirations, strengths, weaknesses, etc), gave us some amazing perspective on our current life and where we think we should take it, which answered just about every question I wrestled with just three months ago. I entered December with more anxiety, uncertainty, and questions about the future than I ever remember feeling before, and stepped into January SO full of peace, confidence, and excitement about the future. And I really do think that I’m this confident and excited because we have vision— not just for this year, but for five years and ten years down the road. We know the kind of legacy that we want to leave to our children and grandchildren. We know the kind of people we want to be, the kind of lives we want to live, and that informs the decisions we make about work, recreation, marriage, parenting, etc.

I mean, don’t get me wrong— motherhood is hard, hard, draining work. The daily discipline to intentionally train up my child is mentally and emotionally exhausting. But I feel so much joy, so much freedom, and so much fulfillment in this season, without the uncertainty and angst I felt three months ago. I’m so, so thankful for that.

I pulled out my remote shutter the other day to try to capture a tiny bit of this season. Pro tip: self-portraits with a baby are HARD. Ha. She still sucks on her blankie to fall asleep. Or anytime she wants comfort. The poor thing is so stained!  Look at this picture and just imagine a tiny little voice saying, “Hi!” in a half whisper. Melt. My. Heart.This is her “I’m doing something funny and I’m laughing at myself” face. Kills me.

We bought a dog bed for Gus about a month ago, and London has decided it’s for her. She toddles to the other side of the room, then runs and throws herself onto the dog bed on her tummy and laughs hysterically at herself. And then gets up and does it again. So, so funny.

And speaking of Gus…