All about the curls
Two weeks ago I met up with a friend at Union Station for a quick catch-up before she caught a bus to Philly. As we grabbed our coffee and headed outside to sit and talk, we were stopped by a random stranger complimenting my hair. It went something like this: “I’m sorry to stop you in your tracks like this, but… you have gorgeous hair. Do you mind me asking what hair products you use?”
My friend was surprised by this, but it is a common experience for me. Hardly a week goes by without someone stopping me and asking about my hair. It’s happened on the street, at the Post Office, on airplanes, in coffee shops, and just about every other circumstance imaginable. Most common questions/comments:
- “Your curls are so well-defined! What products do you use?”
- “Please, please tell me what gel you use. I can’t seem to get rid of my frizz.”
- “Who is your stylist? I haven’t found a new one since I moved here!”
- “Love your hair. Let me guess… you use DevaCurl products, right?”
- “I have curly hair, but I straighten it every day. If I could get it to look like yours, I’d stop doing that!”
I stumbled upon a blog post yesterday by Alison of Long Distance Loving, telling all about her own curly-hair style routine (you can read about it here). It’s quite different from mine, which is totally fine, but I thought it might be time to share my own “curly girl routine.”
But first, the JOURNEY.
First, bald-headed baby. Second, toddler with Shirley Temple curls (you can’t see them in that first picture, but I assure you— they were real). Then kid with lots of waves. Then teenager with curly hair who didn’t know what to do with it, so she used hair dryers, hot rollers, brushes, braids, and anything else she could to try to “tame” it. The bottom right picture? My hair was past my waist, y’all!! I cut it to my shoulders (bottom left) when I was 16, and it just got frizzy. My mom has straight-straight-straight hair, and I didn’t know what to do with my hair’s volume and texture, so I just tried to do what she did. It didn’t work.
I got a perm when I was 18. Crazy… because it never “grew out.” I knew it was curly before, but caring for it like curly hair somehow “activated” it. Sadly, I don’t have any pictures from those years. These are from 2007-2009, when I knew how to wear my hair curly, but still fought frizz. 
2009 and 2010. So-so hair years. I knew my hair well enough to know how to wear it on “no wash” days (usually up). 
I still dealt with a lot of frizz, though. Eek. 
My sister got married in September of 2011, and I decided to cut and highlight my hair for her wedding (first time. big deal!). I think this was a great look for me. The length was fun, artsy, and a little flirty, and the highlights outlined my curls well. This was the beginning of a great hair season for me. I stopped buying the “cheapest possible hair products,” started using alcohol- and sulfite-free products as much as possible, and generally liked how my hair behaved. 
It looked good straight, too, which was fun. 
But that December (just 4 months later) I did something really dumb. My hair needed a trim, and I decided (laaaaate one night, when my roommate was away) to trim it myself. I’ve trimmed the bits around my face before, but this time? I did the whole thing. It was SO SHORT. And horrible. Bad, bad, bad. It didn’t lay right, it wouldn’t curl right, and it was altogether horrible. 
The picture on the left is two months after I first cut it. My hair grows fast, and it was only that length. Getting better, but still struggling. The picture on the right is from June 2012, when it finally began looking good again. It took 6 months for me to feel it looked pretty! Such a long time. I decided not to go short again, partly because of the horrible experience of cutting my own hair, and partly because I haven’t had it much past my shoulders since I was 16, and wanted to see what it would be like to have longer curly hair. 
I kept highlights for a long time, and thought it worked well… but as many of you know, the more you highlight, the blonder you get. 
I got “too blonde” for my taste, so dyed it dark last Fall. These pictures were taken within one day of each other— a “before and after,” I suppose. I’ve LOVED my hair dark. I like the way the blonde outlines and define the curls, but because my natural color is darker, I feel more “myself” when my hair dark. I’m all for keeping it dark for a long time. 🙂 This started another season of generally “good hair.”
Left picture is from February. My highlights still show through the dye, which is a little interesting. Right picture is from May. No more highlights, which I like. And the hair is finally getting longer, which I loooooove. 
I dyed it really dark in June, and LOVE how it turned out. It just felt so natural and happy! It’s faded quite a bit since then (planning to dye it again in the next couple of weeks!!). The picture on the right is with Tori Watson, who I warmly refer to as “My Curly-Headed Twin,” because our hair is almost identical. When we take pictures together, it’s virtually impossible to tell where my curls end and hers begin. 
Aaaaaand this picture is from a few weeks ago. It’s a poor-quality iPhone picture, but it shows my hair’s length and shape quite well, I think! I’m in love with it— the longer it gets, the happier I am! I feel that a whole new world of hairstyles and creativity has opened up to me! 
And now to the METHOD:
The first question people ask me about curly hair is “what products do you use?” Well, it’s not about the product so much as it is about my method of caring for my hair. Products are important, but they’re just one part. I’ll walk through my method step-by-step in a moment, but the gist is this: no shampoo, combs, brushes, or normal hairdryers, only use alcohol-free hair products, and only wash hair every 4-5 days. I’ve been using this method (or some variation of it) since 2004, after being introduced to the book “Curly Girl” (link here: http://amzn.to/ZuUNCr).
Step-by-Step
- After thoroughly saturating my hair with water, I use conditioner ONLY (I’m currently using TIGI Bed Head Styleshots Hi-Def Curls Conditioner, but I change brands often. The kind of conditioner doesn’t matter so much, but I prefer alcohol & sulfite-free). I scrub it into my scalp, using friction to loosen any dirt or oils that have collected there. . I ignore the hair, focusing only on cleansing the scalp. I rinse this conditioner out, shaking the curls, but paying most attention to the scalp.
- I then take a moderate amount conditioner and coat my hair with it. Just enough to soften any tangles, and hydrate the hair. I comb my hands through my hair to get rid of tangles, and make sure the conditioner is evenly spread. I leave this in for as long as I can, while shaving, washing body, etc. I rinse it out, mostly, leaving just a little bit in at the ends to keep it hydrated.
- I get out of the shower, turn my head upside down, and shake the curls (not combing at all, just shaking excess water out), and wrap the hair in a microfiber towel to absorb as much of the water as possible without disturbing the curl shape. It’s very important not to rub the curls, as that can create frizz.
- Once it’s mostly dry, it’s product time! I apply L’Oreal’s Everstyle Smooth & Shine cream to help control frizz (a must in humid DC!!). I turn my head upside down and use this on the underside of my hair, then flip right-side up and apply it on the back of my head, on the top, and any other frizz “hot spots.” I used to use gel on the underside of my head, but the longer it gets, the more it tangles underneath. I’ve found this cream helps to keep it from knotting too much.
- I apply gel. I’ve used different kinds over the years. I used to use mousse, but feel that it dries my hair out too much. Curl creams are a good alternative to gel, and I’ve used those in the past, as well, but currently back and forth between two gels, both from L’Oreal— Everstyle Alcohol-free Curl Defining Gel and Evercurl Sculpt and Hold Cream-Gel. I rub the gel between both hands, and then lightly coat the outside of my hair with it. I then flip my head upside down and scrunch. I repeat this process once or twice, until my hair is fully coated (just don’t overdo it!)
- Now it’s time to style. I part it and arrange the curls with my fingers, trying not to disrupt their shape too much. It’s obviously still wet at this point. Most days I let it air dry. In the winter I use a defuser on the lowest heat possible. I’ll scrunch it throughout the day, as it’s drying (every 45 min or so), just to keep it from getting stiff. And that’s it!
- As I mentioned above, I only wash it every 4-5 days. I use a shower cap every other day (my husband calls me his sexy lunch lady). If it workout, or feel the hair needs a refresher, I’ll get it wet, and then let it dry again, but I don’t put any additional product in it. The first and second days after washing it, I usually wear it down, the third day, I’ll pull back the front and wear half-up, half down, and the fourth day I wear it in a bun or a ponytail.
It sounds complicated, but a wash day takes me maaaaaybe 15 minutes, and on the off days, I literally just turn my head upside down, shake, and go. That’s, like, 30 seconds. I looooooove how simple it is to take care of!!
Common Questions
- Where do you get it cut? I go to Trepka at Salon Amarti in Alexandria, VA. She has curly hair that’s the same shape as mine, and understands how curly hair is different from straight. My hair always looks and feels amazing after she cuts it.
- Why don’t you use shampoo? Curly hair tends to be drier than straight hair (one of the reasons it frizzes!), and shampoo tends to make it worse. Conditioner has cleansing agents in it, and preserves the hair’s moisture.
- Where do you find curly hair inspiration? So glad you asked! I have a Pinterest board dedicated to curly hair. Of course. 🙂 You can see it here.
- I tried your method, and it doesn’t work for me. Am I doing something wrong? Not necessarily. Every person is different, and it’s best to experiment and come up with a method that works best for you.
- How do you control it when you sleep without it going crazy the next day? I haven’t had a ton of problems with this, but I love my hair big and crazy, so it doesn’t bother me. A few friends say that sleeping on a satin pillowcase helps to keep the frizz down.
- My curls look tired if I don’t wash them every day. Do you ever deal with that? Yes, I do! I mix a small amount of conditioner and hair gel with water in a spray bottle, and keep it on hand to refresh curls if they start looking tired or flat. A few sprays, turn the head upside down, and scrunch or shake, and my hair is happy again.
- I have short curly hair. What can I do to dress it up for a special event? One of my friends gave me this tip: use a curling iron with a small barrel (1/2″ to 1″, depending on how tight your curls are) to define a few of the curls around your face and on top of your head in back. You don’t have to curl your whole head, but curling a few strands definitely can dress up all of them. Any curling iron will do— mine is a super cheap one similar to this one. I used it to curl my hair for a costume party a few years ago. I was “Toddlers in Tiaras”, in case you couldn’t tell. 🙂
Hope this was helpful! Do you have any curly-hair tips to share?
xoxo,
Sarah Bradshaw
I keep meaning to ask you where you got that red plaid shirt. Love it!
Great post on curly hair management!! My three daughters and I all have curly hair so we have lots of experience. Your tips are very helpful and you are right, everyone is different so you need to experiment with products AND times of the year for your particular curls. The only tip I would offer is to start with a good cut from a specialist in curly hair. Deva and Ouidad cuts (check the internet for certified salons/stylists in your area) are what you need. If you call a salon asking for a curly specialist, and they tell you all their stylists are experienced with curly hair, RUN away as fast as you can!!
Sarah, I so appreciated this post! I loved reading about your hair journey because I definitely have one of my own– I could create a post filled with how much my hair has changed (in appearance and in health!) over my lifetime. Years of it being chemically straightened, highlighted, braided, you name it. Just over a year ago I decided to stop chemically straightening my hair and just go au naturel. It’s definitely been a process of learning how to take care of my hair all over again, with some days better than others, but I’m enjoying the ride and I know that embracing my curls has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, on a lot of levels. I can totally relate to your excitement over your gaining length, and it’s so cool to see that you use a spray bottle too, lol. Hahaha and it’s so cute that your husband calls you a sexy lunch lady with your shower cap! I totally agree with Annette about getting to know our hair in different times of the year/seasons. =)
this is crazy! i’ve had stick straight hair my entire life and caring for it is TOTALLY different! It’s amazing the work that goes into both! such a fun post, sarah!
I have THE most pin-straight hair in the world–not a cowlick to be found! Thus, I found this post oddly riveting, as I have gone through phases of insane jealousy for people with hair like yours! However, in recent years, as you have come into your own with curly hair, I have learned to embrace and love my straight hair. But that doesn’t mean I don’t still curl my whole head from time to time just for fun! (-;
LOVE it! you’re definitely more faithful to “the method” than i am. but that’s what i love about it, you use which parts work, or to different levels, until you find what makes your hair look good. i’ve not been using an alcohol-free gel which is the one thing i’ve been looking to change (even though i’ve had success with it), so i’m going to try out the one you linked to! i’ll definitely link to this whenever i write my hair-routine post because you’re much more thorough than i was going to be….haha.
yay for curls!
Oh my goodness! I LOVE this post! I recently took pictures of YOU to my new hairdresser to use for inspiration! Thank you for this post!!!
Have never thought about not using shampoo… May have to give that a try. Lots of helpful info. On a funny note, I once showed my stylist a pic of you and your hair and said “that’s what I want!”
As a straight haired girl, all this post did was make me jealous. 😉 You are adorable!!
I loved watching the evolution of your curls!! My mom has hair like yours but I don’t think she’s ever known how to fully embrace it. Mine is wavy but inherited her frizz… not ideal!
LOVE seeing your own curl evolution + learning more about your own process! I echo your comments that everyone’s method is unique 🙂 yay for curls! happy weekend! xo